can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
