real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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