i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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