fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
