I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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