No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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