Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
