I think I won the penis lottery.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
