Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
