if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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