Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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