okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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