I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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