i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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