i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
