found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
