are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
