There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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