these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
