you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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