you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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