he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
