I've blown a few things in my day
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
