we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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