You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize