I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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