I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
