Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
