I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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