Plan B is the new Plan A
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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