"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
