I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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