I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
