there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im holly from the hills drunk
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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