I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
