Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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