So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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