You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
