if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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