I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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