He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
