Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!