She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.