He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.