Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
