Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
