Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize