Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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