when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
