I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
