He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
