When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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