I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
