About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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