Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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