she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
